Orgasm
Recipe for the Busy Woman
Prep
Time: 12 years Cook
Time: 5-10 minutes
List of Ingredients:
Clitoris
- It may not have worked
in some time, but as long as it functioned once, or came close to functioning
you’re good to go. Clitorises are
like old cars, a good priming of the pump will bring up that motor of pleasure
and healthy living, getting you back on the road of life.
Stimulation
device – for the purist
and religious types I recommend go natural with fingers. For a quicker, let’s get her done style instrument, I recommend a battery operated
vibrator, however if you know the carbon footprint of this device the battery
operation may unnecessarily ruin your orgasm process. Using electrical implements already in the house, such as
hand mixer or washing machine may be better dual utility use instead.
Power
Source – Please check
battery strength on all vibrating materials. Dying batteries at the peak need of performance will result
in a long, bitchy day to anyone in vocal range of you.
Lubrication – Nature again has provided our bodies
with the best lubrication from two sources. Saliva is the best starter lubricant. Your vaginal juices once flowing are
the second best lubricant.
Location – Beds are optimal, however items like
dirty laundry, or unmade bed can be orgasm-killing distractions. Search for locales that are
inviting for orgasm escapades. If
you enjoy the thoughts of feeling dirty or bad, the laundry room may be the
perfect place, or the floor space in the living room, the guest bedroom, or if
you happen to have a marble kitchen counter space, consider yourself lucky and
clear space enough for you and your big cool marble, hot flesh fantasy
orgasm. Bathtubs are also
excellent locations to recline, using the water spigot as a powerful and
natural instrument of pleasure.
Music
- has always been a
great relaxing aid for mood setting of any sexual practice. Quick and easy orgasms though are not
often completed in the length of one song. A note of caution, relaxing instrumental music may be used if
the music does not cause a sleep reaction to your body, if you use in riskier
locations. Your children may find
you sprawled out on the couch with Yanni playing and your vibrator still
buzzing. It may cause an early discussion of family sexual practices at an
inconvenient time.
Visual
Memory/Fantasy - are
also an excellent stimulation aid. For illustrative purposes I will share with you an example I
use frequently: Charlie from my graduate studies program. A young man still in his high sperm
production age and hotness, Charlie is hot. Though he constantly hides under a baseball cap, with dark
frame glasses and way too much clothing.
But upon closer inspection you discover thick black phallic eyebrows,
smooth Arabian skin, and soft dark brown eyes with the obligatory long lashes. Stalking him for a significant time you
will catch a glimpse of his thick, strong, head full of black hair. The kind of hair that’s like a reign
you pull while riding his hips in the Cowgirl position achieving your galloping
orgasm. But his best feature, are
his hands. He’s a writer and has
fine, white-collar hands. These
are the kind of hands you should imagine stroking your spine, pulling the hair
on the top of your head just as you are at the point of your orgasm, or
slapping your buttocks, evenly and consistently in a manner that further
stimulates your whole vaginal area.
I recommend taking the time to visually undress him and concentrate on
his erection beginning to rise through his clean white boy shorts. The contrast of his dark olive skin
against those tight, white, mid-thigh length, shorts are the only bow necessary
for my X-mas Lexus parked out front.
Practice
imagining his body, responding to you watching him reveal himself, solely for
the purpose of your orgasm and visual pleasure. In your mind, turn his body
around and watch him bend slightly as he removes his shorts. Your eyes then can feast at two perfect
buttocks for stroking and gripping pleasure. I am personally working on a Charlie Pole Dancing routine,
ending with Charlie swirling around, advancing down the pole, erect and
dripping with pre-cum to my waiting, wet vulva.
Directions:
Prep
the area if it has not been used in quite some time. Mix above ingredients in the order of priority of your
body’s response.
Begin
stroking the spots that call for attention.
Continue
stroking, adding visual stimuli as necessary. You should begin to feel flutters of pleasure starting to
release in your lower body.
Add
kegel exercises as necessary. This combination will guarantee reaching an
orgasm but must be practiced.
Flutters will continue as long as the body is coming closer to orgasm,
however forgetting to breathe will stop the flutters but the kegeling, along
with long oxygen pulls will stimulate the wave producing orgasm expansion of
this recipe.
Allow
the body to continue it’s tremors with gentle stroking, applying just enough
pressure to be interesting and not annoying. Let the ‘waves’ of orgasm flow over the body until
they subside.
The
endorphin producing orgasm will allow your body to relax, rebuilding physical,
emotional and mental properties your body needs. Practice orgasm making recipe often for a fuller,
richer, happier life. You cannot
have to many orgasms in life. And
for you religious types that have had a stunted childhood you are down tens of
thousands. The good news is, the
more your have the more you will want.
And thanks to Charlie for so many lovely orgasms in his honor!
Options: For even
quicker, stronger orgasms, remove all pubic hair!
