What
I Mean When I Say I Love You
1. Endorphins
are the natural opiates the body produces to protect us from pain. Touching
secretes endorphins. We crave the emotional nutrition that comes from touch,
just like a vitamin. Without it we develop a form of emotional scurvy.
2. Oxytocin
is a peptide that spikes when someone touches you. If you spend time in that
person’s presence, oxytocin will surge just at the thought of him or her.
3. Which
means I have acute skin hunger for you, like malnutrition.
4. Phenylethylamine
(PEA) is a natural form of amphetamine that we produce when we “fall in love”.
Conversely, the love-struck soul gets acutely lovesick when romance ends,
similar to amphetamine withdrawal.
5. PEA
creates the limerance that consumes lovers. Occasionally, high levels of PEA
have been found in states of mania and schizophrenia.
6. So when
I say I’m crazy about you, I probably am.
7. Dehydroepiandrosterone
(DHEA) produces the pheromones that emit our scent through the skin. We each
have a unique smell print. When we move around we leave a cloud of scent
molecules behind.
8. Estrogen
governs a woman’s receptive sex drive and makes her acquiescent.
9. So when
I arch my back to you it’s called “presenting”, just like a bitch in heat.
10. Seratonin
cools your sex drive. At high levels serotonin has a sensitive side, with a
peaceful nature. That’s why Prozac makes people feel so good—it boosts your
serotonin. It also takes away your sex drive and delays your orgasms. Low
serotonin levels make you want it—now. Gotta get happy. Now.
11. Dopamine
is a neurotransmitter best known for giving us pleasure. Dopamine is the common
denominator of most, if not all, addictions.
12. So when
I say I love you, what I mean is that I’m really addicted to the chemical rush
I associate with you.
13. When I
met you, DHEA increased in my brain and seeped through my skin, sending and
receiving signals into the atmosphere. PEA made me feel giddy and high. Oxytocin
rushed when you touched my arm. Dopamine pulsed in anticipation of what you
might feel like, taste like. When we touched, oxytocin and endorphins soothed
me, made me like it. Made me associate you with pleasure. Serotonin dropped.
Estrogen made me arch my back. Oxytocin and estrogen demanded penetration. Just before orgasm and ejaculation,
oxytocin levels in both our bodies spiked three to five times higher than
usual.
14. When it
was all over, when I was flooded with PEA and dopamine and you were drunk in your
post-coital oxytocin coma, I realized that I loved you.
